Comic Reviews - February 22, 2012

Later than I wanted, but like you give a sh**.

3/5 Quick Batman Refs

All-Star Western #6 - (3/5)
Writers - Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti
Artist -  Moritat (& Phil Winslade - back-up)

I don't actually buy All-Star, but instead pick it up for my brother while he's at school and read it off of him. Jonah Hex is always fun, and I'm a huge fan of Westerns, so there's a lot I want to like in the book, but the last two issues have dragged a bit. The over-arching mystery is a little underwhelming and the emergence of a giant bat at the end of last issue was pushing the supernatural a little too much for me.  Luckily, it looks like the next arc, introducing Nighthawk and Cinnamon is looking to be a lot of fun. The appeal of Hex in Old Gotham has also begun to wane as well, though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see Hex take on the Court of Owls soon. Were it not Kyle's purchase, I don't think I'd pick up the book myself - mostly due to the $4 price tag. As a $3 book most of my complaints are minor, but that extra dollar is to justify hit-or-miss back-ups. The last one, featuring El Diablo, I thought was a lot of fun, but this issue concludes the story of the Barbary Ghost, and it doesn't fare as well. Overall, it's a fun book and I'm certainly getting what I want out of it, but were Kyle to drop it, I'm not so sure I'd pick it up myself.

4/5 Road-Ragin' Vamps

American Vampire #24 - (4/5)
Writer - Scott Snyder
Artist - Rafael Albuquerque

American Vampire is a book I pick up issue-by-issue, telling myself I can quit it whenever I want, but each chapter brings me back for the next. This most recent arc, "Death Race", has probably been my favorite. And seeing as the original arc featured vampire cowboys, that's saying something. The arc's main character, Travis, is fun and engaging, with a backstory that, while a bit cliché, is interesting. Rafael Albuquerque really shines here. While certain details like faces aren't always his best, the man really gets to strut his stuff drawing action. With both a car chase and a car explosion, Albuquerque doesn't disappoint. Also great? Not as anectdote-heavy as every other thing Snyder has written.

3/5 Bad Food Puns ->

Chew #24 - (3/5)
Writer - John Layman
Artist - Rob Guillory

Chew is a book I continue to pick up more out of habit than dedication. It's not that it's a bad book, but it's been going on a bit too long and has begun to lose its luster. I'm not really sure where it's going anymore and it seems to be rehashing a lot of the same jokes, and those jokes have become increasingly juvenile. It's a book I kind of just want to end so I can be done with it, but only halfway through, I'm barely at the main course. I wish I hadn't managed to grab a first issue so I'd be stuck grabbing the much cheaper trades instead, where I think it would hit much better. Even Guillory's art, which was always the highlight of the book, has begun to bore me. He still throws in some funny background gags, but it's all beginning to feel stale. It also doesn't help that this arc has been really unfocused and kind of all over the place. This entire issue was a sidetrack from the Chu's plot, which is even more obnoxious knowing that the conclusion was put off a month for it.

3/5 Buzzes Killed With
No Mignola Interiors

Dark Horse Presents #9 - (3/5)
Writers - Various
Artists - Various

The most recent two issues of DHP haven't hit as well as the rest of the series. Part of it may be the absence of "Finder" and "Resident Alien", my favorite recurring stories in the anthology. In their place, many of the new stories have been pretty weak, averaging out to mediocre to bad. While this month's installment features less "bad" stories than last month, it hits worst due to a lack of a real gem like #8's "Beasts of Burden" short. The "Lobster Johnson" story is probably the best, but it's really only a decent Mike Mignola short, and is hurt by Mignola not doing the interior art, but teasing me with a nice cover. I was looking forward to Paul Pope's short "1969", but it was probably my least favorite, being mostly uninteresting and having often illegible lettering. Richard Corben adapted Poe's "The City in the Sea", which was good, but nothing special. "Concrete Park" continues to be absolutely terrible and impossible to follow. "The Once and Future Tarzan" became more interesting by the end of the second chapter, but that's more due to premise than the actual story. "Skulltar" actually surprised me by getting a few laughs. I still don't think the premise can last, but it managed to win me over for at least another chapter. "Alabaster: Wolves" was decent, but was basically an eight-page preview of an upcoming miniseries, and it didn't do anything special enough to motivate me to buy that book. Everything else was about average or forgettable. There wasn't even any of Neil Adam's "Blood" to make fun of. Hopefully next month is better.

3/5 Wishes that I Could
Rock Those Sunglasses

The Flash #6 - (3/5)
Writers - Francis Manapul & Brian Buccellato
Artist - Francis Manapul

Despite that 3 rating up there, I actally enjoyed The Flash this month. Thing is, Manapul set the bar pretty high for himself with his first arc (hell, his first issue), and I was a bit underwhelmed this time, both in story and art. Aside from the title pages, there aren't really any fun layouts this time around. Everything is played pretty standard and safe. The story itself is also nothing new and is played pretty straightforward...to the point that I'm ninety-percent sure I know how it's going to end. I also don't really see the reasoning, from a story perspective, behind Cold's new powers. We don't get any explanation, and Flash even acknowledges it, so it's not just an arbitrary DCnU change - which I would be fine with. I'm not fanboy-pissed that they changed Captain Cold - I have no investment in the character. But the book's self-aware noting of this change makes me question its point. Overall, though, the book continues to be fun and I look forward to the next issue.

3/5 Disappearing Boobs

Justice League Dark #6 - (3/5)
Writer - Peter Milligan
Artist - Mikel Janin

JLD is probably my guilty pleasure book. It's not really bad or anything, but I don't love it and I could name several reasons I should drop it. However, it has its moments and it's a book I really want to like. It's got Constantine, Deadman, and Zatanna! How can I not read that? This issue gives us more or less an epilogue to the first arc after last issue's lackluster "we hate each other so bye" conclusion. It gives a reason for the "team" to get back together and I really do enjoy seeing everyone butting heads with Constantine. It still drives me crazy, though, that everyone can see and hear Deadman. It would be ignorable if there weren't already two books in the DCnU that contradict this: Hawk and Dove and the Deadman arc in DCU Presents. The book doesn't try to explain why everyone can see him, it just flat-out ignores it. Plus, I really like the idea that Deadman has to forcibly take over someone's body to have a conversation with the living. Janin's art works well for the book, though some of the pages get a little too dark (hur hur hur). Also, why was Zatanna's cleavage erased on the cover? It's not that I really need to see her chest or anything (the cheesecake-heavy artwork in her last ongoing became uncomfortable despite being a fun series), but it looks so goofy. I mean, if you don't want to show her cleavage, why dress her like that? You drew a damn zipper. Pull it up a couple inches or something.

4/5 Unique Identities
Disappearing While You
Wear Some Other Dude's
Fake Face

Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man #7 - (4/5)
Writer - Brian Michael Bendis
Artist - Chris Samnee

Before we start, I just want to say: I hate masturbation jokes like the one that begins the issue. I don't find them funny and think they're overused. Especially with how young Miles is. Anyway...
I love Miles Morales. He's right up there with Damien Wayne as one of the greatest characters created in my lifetime. I love reading his story and find him a fun fresh take on the Spider-Man mythos. Despite having already gone through it with Peter at the beginning of the series, I still found watching Miles learn his new powers to be enjoyable and intriguing. That said, this issue is hurt a bit by the usual Bendis decompression, where he takes a lot of pages to cover a small amount of time. Though this is great for development, it does make me notice the $4 price tag when the book ends just as things get interesting. I also notice that, while in the mask, Miles feels a little too much like Peter. There are bits where his uniqueness shines through, but it worried me that there were many times he was indistinguishable from Peter. I hope to see more from Spider-Miles outside of familiar one-liners. His internal monologue was certainly helping, so I may just be nitpicking. Samnee's artwork is fun, but a little shadow-heavy, and unfortunately still can't hold a candle to Sara Pichelli's amazing work. Overall, though, still one of the best books I'm picking up.


Alright, that's all I've got this week.

Go away now.

Seriously, go away.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (or "What Was That and Why Hasn't It Happened to Me Sooner?")

I saw Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance last night. What did I think of it?

Sorry, Rob. It's all yours after this.

It's utterly ridiculous in all the right ways, featuring Nicolas Cage's most insane and fun role yet, as well as more angry driving than Drive Angry.

And that featured a car with the license plate "DRVAGRY"

Now, the story in Spirit of Vengeance is nothing to write home about. Cage plays Johnny Blaze, a stunt biker who sold his soul to the devil to save his father and now becomes a demon known as "The Ghost Rider" in the presence of evil. Idris Elba offers to lift Blaze's curse if he rescues a MacGuffin (the MacGuffin this evening will be played by some kid who is most likely the Antichrist [uh...spoilers?])

That's really it in a nutshell. And if that doesn't sound interesting, you wouldn't be wrong. The plot is ultimately forgettable and unimportant. What makes the movie so fun is its style and tone.

And Nicolas Cage. It's like 80% Nicolas Cage.

For immediate watchability, just add Cage!

Here, let me explain:

I don't think a single word Cage said was pre-written. The directors just gave him the summary of the film's "plot" they were planning on slapping on the back of the DVD, took off his muzzle, and let him loose on set. And it. Is. Brilliant.

Cage's Johnny Blaze is a crazed, sociopathic cartoon character. He rambles on, yells at inappropriate times, and his eyes pop out of his head. When he's on screen, it often feels less like a Ghost Rider movie and more of a Nic Cage reality show. I swear to God his first transformation of the movie, which has him hissing and screaming while knocking over shelves, was just old footage of him hearing the reactions to the first Ghost Rider movie.

"WHERE'S MY ACADEMY AWAAARD?"

And at one point, while grilling someone for information by threatening to chew all the scenery until they all fall into a nonexistent void, he says a line that could not have possibly been anything but spur-of-the-moment loony talk. The entire theater lost it and it is, without a doubt, the most hilarious Nic Cage quote of all time.

"...OF ALL TIME!"

I don't even want to spoil it, but it's then followed by a solid minute of Nic Cage just laughing and wiggling his head around on a motorcycle.

Even the moments when Cage acts normal are entertaining. He says each line in that monotone "I'm here, where's my goddamn paycheck" voice of his, and every sentence ends with his strange upwards inflection where he holds the last syllable a second too long.

To reinforce my theory that nobody bothered to give Cage a script, there's even a scene towards the end with Cage and his female protagonist, played by Violante Placido, that has this really odd one-sided sexual tension. It feels like Cage realized the movie was ending soon and he hadn't gotten the chance to bump uglies with the "love interest", so he figured now must be the time. Placido looks baffled as to why this scene isn't in her script and Cage looks upset that neither one of them is naked yet.

Now, if you're thinking, "Sure, Cage can be entertaining, but isn't half this movie replacing him with a CGI skullhead?", don't worry.

That brings me to my next point:

I don't remember the first Ghost Rider too well. I do remember, though, that the Rider was actually pretty boring. He didn't say much, if anything, and he just kind of stood around and pointed.

This has nothing to do with piddly. I just realized I hadn't drawn anything.

In the sequel, Cage actually plays the Ghost Rider -- or his body, at least, as his face is replaced with the CGI fire skull. This could have been a problem, as half the fun of Nic Cage is the faces he makes, but Cage makes up for it by really animating the Rider. He plays him much like a horror monster, giving him a creepy insect-like gait. He tilts his head at odd angles and never really walks in a straight line. In short, it's really a lot of fun to watch.


Even the Ghost Rider's "signature move", the Penance Stare, makes an appearance. It gets no real explanation, outside of a few vague lines from Cage, so rather than being the Rider forcing his victims to live through all their sins, it just looks like he's forcing them into a horrible up-close staring contest. And then you remember that the actors are just seeing Nic Cage disregarding their personal boundaries instead of a CGI skull, and it takes on a whole new form of hilarity.

You. Sins. Tell 'em to me.

The Rider speaks, too. Not a lot, I suppose, and it's mostly just whispering the names of his victims, but he does get a few lines in and at least one corny deadpan action-movie pun you can't help but smile at.

But not all the enjoyment comes from Cage alone...

The movie is a lot of fun because, like Drive Angry, it knows what it is and it knows its audience. It doesn't talk down to you, but it also doesn't try to please grandma because she walked in on accident. The script (you know, the one everyone but Cage got) is silly and some dialogue is terrible, but they make up for it by amping the action up to 11.

Things explode. People burst into flames. Ghost Rider is even given a new ability to transform any vehicle he rides into a flaming monstrosity. Aside from one exception (which I'll get to in a minute), there's never really a dull moment and not a single f*** was given.

It works fairly well as a comedy, too. Outside of Cage freakouts, most of the laughs are intentional, with some really funny jokes. Remember in the trailer when Ghost Rider is peeing fire?

I don't get it. Explain your hilarious joke to me, trailer.

I saw that, chuckled for a second, and thought, "That's going to be really stupid if I see it again."

But when it happened in the movie, it was actually pretty funny, mostly because it cuts back to Cage imitating it on the back of a truck. It even comes back again later.

The camera work is excellent, too. There are a lot of quick cuts like that that are intentionally edited for comedic timing, and chase since are shot at dynamic angles. There are even some stylistic choices that work well, such as the villains powers being used in a black void. Even the recap of the basic origin at the movie's start (and another at an odd spot in the middle) is shown in a really well-executed animated sequence.

Also, his bike sounds like a Transformer. It's used well to create tension before the Rider's arrival, but...Bayformers, man. Take that as you will.

There is a point towards the movie's climax where it really slows down. Bad. The action grinds to a halt and it gets really boring. It's a good twenty minutes or so of just wondering when the hell he's going to turn back into the Ghost Rider.

There's no camel. At one point Cage explains that anything the Rider, uh, rides transforms, too. This leads little MacGuffin to ask what if he gets on a tractor, or takes a taxi, or rides a camel.

We never find out.

I expected a scene after the credits, a daydream (that's what the peeing thing was), or something. Hell, even if they just teased it by having him look at a camel and smirk, I'd be content. But no. The perfect set-up and no pay-off. And I wasn't the only one in the theater who stuck around to see.

Lastly, the 3D is more or less pointless (we didn't have a choice), but I did get to make my favorite horribly stupid joke that no one else finds funny because I do it at every 3D movie.

"It's like it's being approved for all audiences right at me! No, you shut up!"

Overall, though, there really is a lot to like in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.

Save your questions until after I give a sh*t.

• Drive Angry did not apparently have the maximum possible amount of angry driving.
• No one gave Nicolas Cage a script, but instead let him believe he really was the Spirit of Vengeance and followed him around for a week.
• Don't have children, because there's always that off-chance they'll be a MacGuffin.
• I piss off everyone in the audience at 3D movies. Because I'm scum.
• Apparently, the image of a skeletal camel is absolutely horrifying, because I can see no reason why you would not put that in your movie.

Seriously, though - go see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, even if you hated the first. Hell, especially, if you hated the first.

Still not convinced? Here's some science:

See y'all next week.

Now sit there and think about what you've done.

Comic Reviews - February 16, 2012

I have a feeling that other post I started writing is never going to get finished.

Anyway:

4.1/5.1 weird numberings

Amazing Spider-Man #679.1 - (4/5)
Writers - Dan Slott & Chris Yost
Artist - Matthew Clark
I don't quite understand Marvel's ".1" issues. While I think the idea of a one-shot issue designed to be a starting point for new readers is a solid one, I don't think adding another number - especially a decimal point - is going to help. If anything, it just makes it more intimidating. I don't see why we couldn't just have Annuals for every title that can do the same thing. Just plaster "Great Starting Point for Blah Blah Blah" on the cover and you're good to go. Aside from the wonky numbering, though, this issue isn't half bad. It reads like a standard issue of the ongoing series, but does a good enough job of familiarizing new readers with the characters and stories without forcing current fans like me to sit through an issue of careful handholding. In that sense, it actually moves the ongoing story forward, revealing new information about a mysterious "recurring" character and ending on a note allowing it to sync up with the upcoming feature film (I honestly should have seen it coming). The art is adequate, though nothing special, and there is one panel where Peter looks like he belongs on the Lollipop Guild basketball team.  There also feels like there's a lot more going on in here than there really is. I was surprised to learn that this was only $2.99, as I felt that I had read a much bigger $4 comic. With comics these days often feeling too brief, that's a good sign. 

2/5 wrestling moves on robots

The Avengers #22 - (2/5)
Writer - Brian Michael Bendis
Artist - Renato Guedes
Why is Norman Osborn back? Didn't we already go through all of this like two or three years ago? Why is Red Hulk on the team? Why is Red Hulk still even around? Why does no one see Osborn as a villain when he Zangiefs the Vision through a door? Why does nothing even remotely resembling the cover occur in the book? Why did last issue's cover feature Storm while she only appeared in a total of four panels, one of which she was drooling in? Why haven't I dropped this book yet? Nothing happens in here that isn't infinitely stupid. It gets a pity point because the idea isn't bad, its just not relevant or well thought out.

3/5 Tommy Lee Osborns

The New Avengers #21 - (3/5)
Writer - Brian Michael Bendis
Artist - Mike Deodato
I went into this issue with a bad attitude, having read Avengers Main first. It didn't help that, during the completely nonsensical riot at the Avengers Mansion, some asshole threw a bottle at Jessica's head while she's carrying her baby. Who does that? No one. It's something that's so over the top that, despite the protesters (and even Osborn) having an arguable point, it all gets thrown out the window. Then Squirrel Girl (Who is, according to the recap page, a teenager? What? Didn't she sleep with Wolverine?) has tree rodents attack everyone. I was all set to hate this issue, and not even Spider-Man spouting some fun lines (which Bendis is good at, even though every member of the team talks the same) while saving several team members could save it. But Spider-Man fighting fake-Thor by web-slinging Iron Fist at him? Congratulations, stapled stack of paper. You earned your $3.

5/5 Godzilla Batmans

Batman #6 - (5/5)
Writer - Scott Snyder
Artist - Greg Capullo
First off, I want to note that my friend hated last issue because "Batman wandering through a maze all issue" was "boring". I'll let that sink in.
Anyway, Snyder continues to craft a very fun and engaging story, finally leading itself into the "Night of the Owls" crossover. We get to see more of the Court of Owls and learn that they have far more than just one assassin in its employ. I was indifferent to Capullo when he began drawing this book, but these issues of Batman in the labyrinth are where he really shines. His more stylistic drawings really lend themselves to Batman's hallucinations. Bat's one exposed eye still stands out as weird to me, but the panels focused on them help remind you that he is suffering the effects of hallucinogens. And the shifts between his visions of the Court as humanoid owls and the reality of them as just people in masks are really well done. Props to FCD, as the colors are also really nicely done, especially with the lighting and the panels that take place in all-white rooms. Snyder continues to write the best Bat-book since Morrison left, making the wait for his return in Batman, Inc. a little easier. 

5/5 waltzes with a corpse

Daredevil #9 - (5/5)
Writer - Mark Waid
Artist - Paolo Rivera
Daredevil continues to be one of the best books on the stands. The story and artwork are both topnotch and work together so well in a way rarely seen. Waid and Rivera continue to use Daredevil's powers in a way that's both interesting visually and to the story, knocking out two of his senses from loud rushing water and the overpowering stench of corpses. There's a really neat two-panel sequence where we first see Daredevil's "vision", where his echolocation shows him that he's traveling a river through a cave. It's then followed by a panel of what we can see, and the walls of the "cave" are actually beasts crouching still along the river. The moment that really stood out to me, however, was a simple ten-panel page where Black Cat has second thoughts about stealing something from Matt. It's mostly from one flat angle and shows nothing more than her hands and three flashbacks, but it's expertly paced and tells you everything you need to know in one page. It is extremely well-done, much like every issue of the series so far. I can't wait for #10.

1/5 Two-Faced Guiles

DC Universe Presents: Challengers of the Unknown #6 (1/5)
Writer - Dan Didio
Artist - Jerry Ordway
I really was looking forward to this. I love the idea behind DCU Presents, letting lesser-known characters that may not be able to sustain their own series get a chance to shine. And the Challengers of the Unknown where characters I've always been mildly interested in, ever since I read Challengers of the Fantastic from the phony Amalgam line when I was a kid. But, man...was this a bad way to introduce the characters. The idea updating the story (making them a cast from an ill-defined reality show) is interesting, but cliché. There are a total of nine characters, which I found odd, since I understood the original team to be somewhere between four and six. Most of them are stereotypes or don't really do anything at all. One women exists to talk about her boobs for two panels and never speaks again. One is just the "token black guy" who has a broken arm at the start so we can see that the mystical land of Nanda Parbat healed him, even though they don't stay there, it's noted in one throwaway line, and it doesn't factor into sh*t. Even the artist can't keep track of the cast, as some of them switch clothes or disappear between panels. The plot makes no sense, the dialogue is wordy and expository, and the pacing is absolutely terrible. I've no idea what happened, who the Challengers are, or why I should care. The art isn't much better. It's not bad, but it's mediocre and just sits as "standard comic book art", and is really hurt by the much nicer cover by Ryan Sook. As someone who is normally pretty forgiving on first issues, this was one of the rare times I was 100% certain I wouldn't be around for part two.

3/5 creeps loving the tentacle fight at the beginning

Wonder Woman #6 - (3/5)
Writer - Brain Azzarello
Artist - Tony Akins
I just don't know where I stand with Wonder Woman. It's a book that, at the start of the New 52, I really wanted to like. I just don't know where it's going. I don't really understand what's happening. I have no idea who this Lennox dude from last issue is or what he wants. There are things about the book that I like and still find intriguing. The mythology, when I can follow it, is fun. Hermes is so silly in that hat and wraparound sunglasses that I just want to give him an ongoing title. But when it comes down to it, I've been telling myself to drop titles I'm not loving, and this and Avengers certainly fall into that category. I hate leaving mid-story, though, so if it happens to come out on a small week (which it didn't this month), I may still grab it. Otherwise, I need to let it go. Colors sure are pretty, though. Props to Matthew Wilson.


Anyway, I'm out. I missed last week's reviews due to a busy weekend, so I'll just update them to this post if I find the time. Otherwise, I should have something in addition to reviews next week.

Be...excellent...to each other.

Valentine's Day (or "The closest thing I have to a girlfriend has four legs and whiskers")

So I was working on another post last week, but got sidetracked when I went to Columbus for a "cheese party" at Seth's.

He said to bring an interesting cheese and I brought this. Because I'm scum.

I also spent the entire weekend sick, waking up one morning so miserable that I considered shoving my head in the toilet and trying to drown myself. The only reason I'm still here is because I was in too much pain to drag myself to the bathroom and accept the sweet release of death.

I was about to finish my old post today when I realized it's Valentine's Day. A day that always seems to fill me with malice. I haven't been in a relationship around the "holiday" for a while now, so a day that's already irrelevant and silly even with a proper Valentine is even worse when you're alone. I get belligerent towards people that seem happier than me.

Stop having things I want, crudely-drawn people!

It doesn't exactly help that many of my past relationships haven't ended well. My dad liked to describe me as a "crazy magnet" (because a guy who types out his fury about comics to the internet is completely sane).

"You think she puts out?"

I mean, it's obviously not my own fault. Women love abrasive and stubborn men with poor social skills, strong opinions on Spider-Man and Scrooge McDuck, and a bad habit of laughing hysterically in public.

And honestly, I'm so damn cynical now because, at my core, I'm a discouraged and frustrated romantic. The kind of drawings I do this blog actually came originally from comics I used to constantly draw for an ex-girlfriend. I'm even a guy that once folded a thousand cranes for a girl. At about fifty a day, it took over two weeks.

Still, though...not the crazy one.

So, yeah. Valentine's Day puts me in a rotten mood, especially a V-Day when I decide I want to make waffles for breakfast and learn with two ingredients in a bowl that I'm out of ****ing milk. And like I've done with other things that soured my disposition, I decided the best way to deal with it was to tell the internet my opinion.

I turned to the internet when my cat began charging too much.

There's not really much I can say that hasn't been said already.

Hearts don't look at all like the shape of those cards.

I will admit, that does look more difficult to cut out of paper.

Cupid is creepy. People blame things like videogames and television for violence in children, yet we take a day out of the year to celebrate a holiday featuring a half-naked flying fat baby brandishing a deadly weapon.

Then again, the diaper isn't much worse than the sleeveless

leather vests and sunglasses of these two yahoos.

Anyway, I need to stop talking about this stupid day and find something to distract myself before I make myself sick on candy that tastes like chalk.

Before I go, though...here, I made a Valentine for you:

I should have a real post this weekend.

It's not weird I'm spending Valentine's Day watching tv with my cat, right?

Comic Reviews - February 1, 2012

I'm trying to keep myself focused on updating often, so I'm planning on weekly reviews of comics and anything else I may find noteworthy. I'm also hoping to have bi-weekly (or maybe weekly, if I find the time and subjects to write) rants or humor articles. We'll see how long before I abandon it all again.

Anyway, reviews:

3/5 Purple Brain Squids

Action Comics #6 - (3/5)
Writer - Grant Morrison & Sholly Fisch (back-up)
Artist - Andy Kubert & Chriscross (back-up)

I'm reading this series on a lot of faith. If it weren't Grant Morrison, I would have dropped the title by now. I have to believe that this is something I can come to appreciate once the larger picture of the series comes into focus. I still can't understand why this two-part story even happened, especially right after the Brainiac cliffhanger from #4. Did Rags not have enough time to finish his art? Andy Kubert's art here is...distinctively Kubert. There are some nice sequences, but there are also a lot of really lazy faces and panels. He's certainly not giving it his A-game. The story is certainly Morisson-y, but confusing. And I still believe he needs a few more pages, as everything feels kind of condensed. It's obnoxious that DC prices this at $3.99, knowing that people will pay that much for Morrison's name, but limit him to 20 pages and gives us a pointless back-up instead. The back-up isn't good or bad, but it's not worth that extra dollar on the cover. Either give Morrison more pages or cut the price. "Drawing the Line at 2.99...Until We're Confident You'll Pony Up the Cash For Popular Titles."

5/5 Fun Experiments

Animal Man #6 - (5/5)
Writer - Jeff Lemire
Artist - John Paul Leon & Travel Foreman

My opinion actually differs from my friend, Seth (whose blog can be found here), on this book and Swamp Thing. He felt this issue was a stall, where I took it as a fun play with the format, as well as a "breather" of sorts. Last issue pretty much ended the current arc, and while comics work their way into the "six issues per trade" format, decided that rather than stretch what happened last issue into this one, we get a stand alone issue that still ties in, but lets us breathe. It's a method I really enjoy that I've seen recently in The Unwritten and Lucifer. While the issue doesn't really tell us anything we didn't already know, it acts like a mission statement for the series. The art by Leon is also really slick, with some great cinematic panel layouts. It's also a nice visual contrast to Foreman's work in the story proper. Plus, I love that cover. The story was just a lot of fun for fun's sake. There aren't enough comics like that anymore.
 

3/5 omg, Blood, you guys.

Dark Horse Presents #8 - (3/5)
Writer: Various
Artist: Various

DHP is a weird book to review. As an anthology, one issue could feature some really strong stories, while another can be mediocre. It doesn't help that this issue was missing my two favorite stories, Finder and Resident Alien. Instead we get several forgettable new stories, I'll try to say a few words on each. It opens with a B.P.R.D. tale by Mignola and Arcudi, which was obviously a Mignola script (that's a good thing). However, it's a post-Hellboy story, and I'm not that far in the series, so I couldn't get a lot out of it. Howard Chaykin's Marked Man thankfully reaches its conclusion, where everything is "explained" with a throwaway line about MLK's assassination. Neal Adam's Blood continues to be utterly ridiculous, and this chapter's dialogue is the worst I've ever seen. People basically just recite panel descriptions to each other. Blood is a trainwreck that I kind of look forward to every issue (Seth suggested I should review it like I did Superior. Maybe). Brian Wood's The Massive: North Sea - 1995, aside from having a long title, couldn't retain my interest. It was something I immediately forgot about once it was done. Concrete Park is on its second chapter and I still can't figure out what it's about. Time to Live started as an interesting time travel story, until you reach the "shocking" ending, whereupon it falls apart by simple logic. It was obviously thought twist-first, and then a story was built up to try and lead into it, but it doesn't work. The Many Murders of Miss Cranbourne was...weird. I enjoyed it, overall, but I couldn't figure out what to take from it. I'm not sure how long the "little old lady is a righteous murderer" can go, but I'm interested in chapter 2. Skultar was also weird for me. When I read the first chapter last month, I had trouble believing it could sustain itself past that. This month, I learned I was mostly correct, but I still did chuckle at a few gags. It's still too self-aware and strange, but I won't deny a part of me enjoys it. The Once and Future Tarzan was fun, with some nicely suited artwork. I couldn't tell if this is a Tarzan homage, or if it's supposed to be a post-apocalyptic reinterpretation, but I'm intrigued for more. The highlight of the issue, and possibly the anthology series thus far, was Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson's Beasts of Burden. I love this series, and this chapter probably sums it up best. Beautiful artwork with a haunting story and a chilling final page. It's not just a good story, but the best ghost story I've seen in a long while.
 

3/5 Pointless Anecdotes

Swamp Thing #6 - (3/5)
Writer - Scott Snyder
Artist - Marco Rudy

Differing with Seth again, I wasn't feeling this issue again. First, the art was off, but I didn't realize at first it wasn't Paquette. Layouts, like previous issues, are a poor man's J. H. Williams, and way too heavy on the black borders and shadows. Unlike Animal Man, this felt like a stall issue, as last issue felt like the end of the arc, leading into the next. Only one real event occurred here, but it was stretched over the course of the issue. Plus - and I'm sure I'll say this two to three times a month - I can't stand Snyder's anecdotes. They're a fine writing tool, but he puts one in almost every issue of every series he does. They've become a crutch. This one barely has to do with the story, as it starts off as a random metaphor, but then that's abandoned to suddenly become literal. People do not talk like this. It's tied with young Bruce Wayne shooting an owl in his attic as one of Snyder's worst anecdotes. Regardless, I'm still enjoying the series and I'm excited for the next issue.

4/5 Animal/Human Hybrids

Sweet Tooth #30 - (4/5)
Writer - Jeff Lemire
Artist - Jeff Lemire

Sweet Tooth continues to be a fun and engaging series, and each issue ends with me craving the next chapter. However, I'm hoping it's on its way to reaching a conclusion. Lemire has established a goal off in the distance for them to reach, and while it's a bit away, it looks like that's going to be the end. This was reinforced with the three-part story arc from a few issues ago, showing us a possible origin to the plague. This issue is a lot of fun, with some really nicely-paced pages with layouts that increase the tension as you read. Love or hate his distinct artistic style, as a visual storyteller Jeff Lemire is definitely one of the more skilled writer/artists in the business.


That's all for now. I may have something humorous posted next weekend. Otherwise, expect more reviews after Wednesday.

And don't touch my stuff.