This week, Comic Alliance's Ask Chris answered a question I submitted. I kind of sparked a large debate about who would win in a fight between Batman and Harry Potter. Many said Harry because he's "magic" and apparently that's all the reasoning you need, because, hey, when do we ever use logic these days? I said Batman, and here's why: Batarang to wand. Fist to face. Victory to Batman. And if you want to say, "But Harry would just magically magic Batman with magic first," you're an idiot. Batman (and this is a FACT about fiction...Fiction Facts....tell your friends) can disarm ALERT and TRAINED gunmen before they can fire a bullet. That is to say, before they can clench their index finger. Harry has to aim the wand, speak a spell, and wave anywhere from his wrist to his entire arm. Even omitting the speaking, which he eventually learns to do, that's still a whole lot of effort. PLUS, if Harry is already alert and armed, then Batman is already hiding in the shadows. And if not, then I can guarantee that Batman can grab and throw a batarang faster than Harry can grab that stick.
...Ew, that's gross.
Moving on...
Batman & Robin #22 - (7/10) B&R has gone downhill since Morrison left the title, but I stuck through it a bit out of curiosity. Paul Cornell's 3 issue run was abysmal. I mean awful. And I almost quit there, but I stuck around once I heard Tomasi would be tackling three issues. I enjoyed Tomasi on Green Lantern Corps and I was willing to at least give him a chance. And it paid off. This final installment of the story had some great moments, some wonderful art, and the introduction of an interesting new rogue for the Bat. I'm sad to see that Tomasi is not hanging around longer, as he seems to be the only other writer capable of pulling off the dynamic between Dick and Damian ( just Damian's personality in general) outside of Morrison. While it didn't blow me out of the water, this run on B&R will at least let me leave the title without a bad taste in my mouth.
The Flash #10 - (8/10) I'm not going to lie -- I was already excited for Flashpoint. I'm a sucker for alternate universes, and the hype, unlike Marvel's Fear Itself, is genuinely intriguing. And while not a whole lot really happened, this issue continued to whet my appetite. Still, Flash is ironically one of the slowest-moving titles I read. I always reach the end and, while I enjoyed the ride, I always feel like I'm asking the final page, "That's it?" The art is gorgeous, though. I can't think of anyone better suited to draw this title than Francis Manapul. Oh, and speaking of art, Wally's costume is just goofy-looking. He's not in the book, but he's on the cover. I know they had to find a way to distinguish Wally from Barry now that there are two Flashes running around, but the red, earless Batman cowl just looks silly.
Deadpool #35 - (4/10) Thank f***ing God we're done with the space story. Dumbest f***cking I have ever seen. If it was only an issue, hell even just two, I could probably let it go, but I had to endure this stupid f***ing plot for three f***ing months. He gets one f***ing issue to make me forgive him. I always f***ing do, though. Last stupid plot led into the f***ing amazing vampire arc. I said "f***ing" in every sentence.
New Avengers #11 - (8/10) Out of all the Avengers titles, I'm really enjoying New the most. It features the characters I find most interesting, plus the plot at least makes some sense, unlike Avengers-main. The B-plot with Fury and his "original Avengers" is interesting, but we're -- what? 3 issues in? And I have yet to see what this has to do with anything else. Plus, I hate Chaykin's art. Everything looks lumpy and awkward, and I often have trouble telling who's who. This is even more distracting when the cover and A-plot are drawn so beautifully by Mike Deodato. Hopefully next issue will see these two seemingly unrelated plots converge.
The Unwritten #24 - (8/10) This issue sees the return of the foul-mouthed rabbit, Pauly Bruckner. His previous appearance in #12 was one of my favorite issues of the series to date, so I was looking forward to this installment with even more pants-creaming excitement than usual. However, while it was still a great issue, I felt let down. It didn't really strike me like I expected to. Kind of a sequel-itis, I guess. Every 6 issues, The Unwritten gives us these story gems that aren't connected directly to the main plot, but expand the world of the series. Issue 12 came completely out of left field and really blew me away, showing me aspects of this fiction-bending universe that I hadn't imagined. I guess my hopes were extremely high that the return to this side-plot would surprise me as well, but it was pretty much what I suspected. I guess it's my own fault, as nothing was really wrong with the issue at all. It just wasn't what I hoped.
S. H. I. E. L. D.: Infinity - (8/10) I loves me some S. H. I. E. L. D. The high-concept series is so wild and full of fun that I often don't even notice until I'm through that I followed almost none of it. This one-shot features four short stories, each giving us a little taste of the characters and world we've been reading in the main title, each featuring a different artist. And while there were some fun moments (Archimedes piloting the Colossus of Rhodes like a Gundam to fight a Kree sentry), by the end it didn't really leave an impact on me like S. H. I. E. L. D. proper. And normally I wouldn't really criticize the fun ride, but with the slightly higher $3.99 price tag, I was left a little disappointed. Worth it, but I still craved more. It did at least ease some of the pain until Volume 2 begins.
Booster Gold #43 - (7/10) Booster holds an odd place in my heart and, consequently, on my pull list. What began as a fun time-traveling romp through the DC in the same vein as Quantum Leap, it began to focus more on longer, less interesting story arcs. Then Jurgen's left and the quality picked up a bit. It still wasn't nearly as great as the first 12 issues, but it was an enjoyable read each month. The current storyline involves Rip's secret knowledge that Booster is his father, and he seems to be using his knowledge of the future to influence Booster. The wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey aspects are...full of plotholes, but they work for what they are. And next month seems to be focusing on Flashpoint, so color me interested.
Hellboy: Buster Oakley Gets His Wish - (6/10) I always seem to enjoy the Hellboy one-shots, and the fact that this one was about aliens and cows interested me. Unfortunately, it really didn't work for me. Hellboy delivers some funny lines, as usual, and I even remember chuckling out loud. But the entire issue was forgettable. The artwork was passable, but everything pales when compared to Mignola, especially when there were hints of his brilliant pacing in the script that never really came through. What I think hurt the issue the most, though, was the extra 50 cents on the price tag. It's not a large amount, and HB is usually worth it, but the subpar story and artwork, combined with my large pull list this week, made the strain on my wallet more painful.
Captain America: The Fighting Avenger - (8/10) I said this a few weeks ago with the Iceman & Angel review, but I loves me some Brian Clevinger. The guy knows how to write intelligent, funny, and character-driven stories. Surprising that he got his start doing a goofy webcomic featuring Final Fantasy sprites. Gives me hope. Anywho, this one-shot was no exception. It features a Cap early in his career, before he was even given a proper title, and leads into the origin of the Red Skull. The writing is solid, with some amusing moments, and the cartoony artwork works well with the light-hearted script. It was just a very fun comic that left a big goofy grin on my face. And that's honestly one of the best compliments I can give a book.
Secret Warriors #26 - (10/10) Although I have to read the summary every month and still can barely follow the plot, I f***ing love Secret Warriors. It's full of crazy ideas that will absolutely confuse the hell out of even those trying their hardest to pay attention. What I love best is that every time I think I know where it's going, I learn that I am so f***ing wrong. I believe the series is ending by #28, and there is going to be a huge hole in my soul once it's gone.
Ultimate Spider-Man #157 - (8/10) I've been saying this for a while, but the "Death of Spider-Man" arc is a crock. They're not going to kill him. Not just because "he's Spider-Man", because in the Ultimate Universe that doesn't hold the same weight. Not because there's an Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon in the works. Not even because they already tried to trick us with it once before during Ultimatum. But because there has been such a huge plot build-up to this point in the series, that just ending it now would be insanely stupid. It would be bold, yes, but you can see Bendis has been putting a lot of pieces in play that haven't reached their full potential yet. Killing Spider-Man would end that. Plus, if they were to really to kill him, I think they'd call it "The Death of Peter Parker". Just you watch, it probably just means the "death" of the Spider-Man identity. Either he's publicly outed (and with Osborn and everyone knowing his secret, I am willing to put money on this), or he joins S. H. I. E. L. D. or the Ultimates or something. And if he does die, the cliffhanger at the end isn't what does it. We're like two issues into the story and nothing has played out. Even if the rest of the story is him dying, there's still too much that needs to play out.
Ultimate: Avengers vs New Ultimates #3 - (7/10) This series has been...I don't know. I avoided it at first because, despite carrying the "Death of Spider-Man" banner, it didn't seem to be related to the event. I was told that changed with this issue, but it really just ends with the same cliffhanger as USP #157, not even really from a different perspective. That said, the plot of the miniseries itself has gotten more interesting, but I can't really say it was worth reading. I'm at least far enough in that I'll stick with it see where it goes.
Ultimate: Avengers vs New Ultimates #1 & 2 - (6/10) Going off what I said above, the series is interesting enough, but doesn't really seem to be worth it. Plus, it suffers from being a Mark Millar comic...meaning that it's full of moments and ideas that make you go, "Cool," but then you end up groaning later. And seriously, every other page has someone saying, "oh god." That's not even a joke. Go back and look.
Ultimate Spider-Man #156 - (7/10) I have a notecard where I write down notes and a basic score for everything I read, but I honestly don't remember this issue. This is probably because I read the next one just a few days later. Oh well, I gave it a 7, so we'll stick with that.
Amazing Spider-Man #657 - (7/10) This issue focuses on Peter and the FF dealing with the loss of Johnny Storm, who is pretty much Pete's super best friend. It's divided up into separate short stories featuring Spidey and the FF, each from the perspective of a different member and featuring a different artist. These stories are fun, but mostly forgettable, though there were a few chuckle-worthy moments (Spidey/Human Torch double punch). However, they just reminded me of the phenomenal Spider-Man/Human Torch miniseries from a few years ago, and they just do not compare. Everything from the humor to the emotion was handled so much better in that one miniseries, which became the definitive story of their friendship. Even the final moment with Johnny's will for Peter just didn't hit hard enough for me. It was touching, but it just didn't hit like it should have.
Marvel Super Hero Squad Online - (7/10) I grabbed this simply because it said "50 cents" really big on the cover. I can't turn down that kind of deal. And, honestly? Worth it. It featured two stories, and while they were both simple and silly, they had some fun moments where I was grinning and even chuckling a bit. For half a dollar, you can't really complain.
Marvel Super Hero Squad #11 - (7/10) I grabbed this as well because the cover was just so ridiculous. Seriously, go Google it. I'll wait. ... ... ... Hilarious, right? There just aren't enough cowboys in comics. The issue, like the Online one-shot, was divided into two short stories, and while the first was forgettable, the second was absolutely insane. Everyone's a cowboy, there are references to several old westerns, plus M.O.D.O.K. wears a giant purple stetson. Worth every penny.
Secret Warriors #26
Seriously, I love this series. Thank God I'll still Hickman have S. H. I. E. L. D. (and maybe Future Foundation, if it can prove its worth) once this ends, because I don't know what I'd do without it. I love a title where each issue does something that I absolutely did not see coming, and this issue had me staring at the page going, "I should have f***ing seen that. How did I not see that?" There are so many compounding layers of betrayal and lies that I will pay good money just to see Hickman's notes. Over the course of these 26 issues, I've seen this book expand itself and echo back upon itself in a complexity not often seen outside of Morrison's work. I can't wait to see how it ends, yet I don't want to see it end.
Seriously, I love this series. Thank God I'll still Hickman have S. H. I. E. L. D. (and maybe Future Foundation, if it can prove its worth) once this ends, because I don't know what I'd do without it. I love a title where each issue does something that I absolutely did not see coming, and this issue had me staring at the page going, "I should have f***ing seen that. How did I not see that?" There are so many compounding layers of betrayal and lies that I will pay good money just to see Hickman's notes. Over the course of these 26 issues, I've seen this book expand itself and echo back upon itself in a complexity not often seen outside of Morrison's work. I can't wait to see how it ends, yet I don't want to see it end.
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